Being a start-up founder isn't a job, it's an all-consuming, crazy rollercoaster of a journey that you have to have a screw loose (or two) to ride. Here's 14 things that have happened to everyone living the #startuplife, and an insight into what it's like to be broke, ambitious and a little bit crazy... (Disclaimer: This confessions are to be taken as some light-hearted relief and tongue-in-cheek banter)
- You go to events just for free food/drink. Actually, you feel totally cheated if there's no food at an event. This means that pizza, wine and questionable canapés are now a staple of your diet.
- You spend more than you generate in monthly revenue on coffee
- You get stupidly over-excited at every single sale, especially when it's from someone you don't actually know. ***immediately starts stalking customer to find out who this awesome person is believed in my idea enough to give me money*****
- You think you've finally "got it" multiple times a week...for months on end.
- You've brutally analysed every single person you know for the likelihood they'll invest in you. And consider entering day time TV competitions (I mean come on, you could do SO much more with the £20k cash prize than Susan from Plymouth.) Failing that, you consider you could maybe get away with a bank robbery. Sure, you might end up in prison, but at least you haven't had to go to any more networking events or give away equity...
- You'd rather stick pins in your eyes than be asked one more time..."so what do you do..?"
- Your new office has a ping-pong table and a beer tap. It's pretty much startup law.
- You collect 10000001 business cards from shows, events and exhibitions, but don't have any yourself.
- You speak to your co-founders more than you speak to your friends, parents and boyfriend combined
- You notice people's eyes glazing over as you talk about seed rounds, SEIS, business valuations and the ins and outs of crowdfunding...but you can't stop talking because this is information everybody should know.
- Your mood changes from "THIS IS AMAZING I'M GOING TO BE RICH" to "this was a s*** idea I'm going to fail" approximately every hour.
- You consider buying branded hats, bags and other swag a better investment than actually paying yourself.
- You're not entirely sure what a weekend is any more
- You consider maybe going back to the 9-5 so you can try this "weekend" thing...and then remember that you're a badass crazy little legend who cannot deal with the 9-5 and actually your ideas is pretty awesome so you'll stick with it because the world needs you. You go Glen Coco.